Alternative 12 Steps

Steps to Happiness & Self Awareness

HOW = Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness

These Steps are not only for the addict, co- dependant, abused, or dysfunctional, but FOR ALL who want to improve their understanding of themselves and others.

Do the Steps at your own pace there is no time limit , re-work certain steps as you feel you need to.

Note: It is best to work these Steps and share your thoughts (exercises/worksheets) with a trusted friend or a sponsor/mentor who has worked through similar steps before.

If you have not yet found someone in which to work with and have questions about these steps email me WebsUberDesigner@aol.com ... If you decided to do these Steps alone remember, vigorous HONESTY is the ONLY way to find your true self. ... If you are going to lie to yourself, don't even bother with the Steps, come back when you are ready to grow.

Step 1:
I realize I am baffled and trying to solve problems with solutions that aren't working.

If you REALLY believe this, you are ready to get familiar with Feelings , make sure you have the correct meaning of each feeling, look up all the feelings that apply to you in a dictionary (keep a feelings list with you, learn them well by looking at them often).

Step 2:
I'm willing to let go of my old behavior and seek another approach to coping with everyday problems. I realize that I am a profoundly emotional being and that unless I understand my emotions I will not have much power over my actions or my life.

Once again go to your Feelings list ; select the word or words that describe your feeling/s and put them in a sentence (explain your feeling/s). Do this now, and every day until you have reached Step 12.

Step 3:
I am determined to shift my focus and seek a sense of wholeness and happiness in order to better my life.

Get better acquainted with your Flaws and Assets exercise, BE HONEST and relate to as many flaws and assets as you can. (do this NOW, and as often as you like)

Step 4:
With vigorous honesty, I confront myself and look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.

Inventory : Resentments Take as long as you want with this step, 1 month 2, 3, 4, whatever it takes, be thorough. Share your Inventory with a trusted friend or sponsor. (when finished going over your Inventory with another person, you may burn or shred it as a symbol of letting go of past behavior and pain) BE extremely honest on this step and look at your mistakes if there were any.

Step 5:
I take responsibility for my actions and admit them to myself and others... I will express to others, when appropriate, and myself the exact nature of my feelings thereby gaining some power over them

Go to your Flaws and Assets list, select the flaws that belong to you and write a brief paragraph next to each flaw describing what you will do differently to avoid these negative actions in the future.

Step 6:
I acknowledge that my disruptive reactions are typically created by my fears and I am ready to face them head on.

Fear Inventory: Fear List

Step 7:
Taking a different path towards life, I strive to find a more profound sense of who I really am rather than use fear and defensiveness to guide me.

Grateful List Happiness List

Step 8:
I stop blaming and feeling blamed with a willingness to heal the wounds. I am ready to be accepting of the world and others as it is and as they are.

Exercise: Make a list of people and/or principles you JUDGE that have different ideas and beliefs than yours, then explain how you could become more understanding of their diversity(unless you feel their idea or belief to be harmful).

(I understand you must be strong and courageous for this step, please do your best)

Step 9:
I swallow my pride and sincerely apologize to people I've hurt except when it would be counterproductive.

This step has no worksheet or exercise, it takes action.

Step 10:
I carry on with an honest awareness of myself, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.

Staying aware

Step 11:
I stay connected with my feelings -- constantly increasing my knowledge of who I really am and achieving a deeper sense of what I really want.

defects and humility

Step 12:
With this newfound wisdom I feel strong and content. I reach out to others who are baffled.

Bravo!!! ... keep coming back

IF you know of any helpful worksheets or exercises please let me know. I am open to new ideas and all comments are welcome.

Email: WebsuberDesigner@aol.com

The complete Big Book of A.A. online, which includes the original (religious/spiritual) 12 Steps